Many zoo visitors have witnessed chimpanzees throwing, uh, stuff, in the direction of people, but a particular chimp in Sweden has the scientific community abuzz because a study released Monday shows that primates possess the ability to plot and execute plans.
The report, in the journal Current Biology, cites the actions of Santino in the Furuvik Zoo near Stockholm. The 31-year-old alpha male was observed beginning preparations before the zoo opened. It collected rocks and other debris and stored the cache in a strategic location until midday, then opened fire on visitors beyond a moat.
“These observations convincingly show that our fellow apes do consider the future in a very complex way,” the report’s author, Lund University doctoral student Mathias Osvath, told the Associated Press. “It implies that they have a highly developed consciousness, including lifelike mental simulations of potential events.”
I can just imagine the thoughts of these chimpanzees: What is wrong with these humans? Can’t they get the point? I’m throwing rocks at them and yet they seem to bother me even more than before. What does it take with this species? Can’t they get the f—ing hint? Lord almighty just shoot me down now why don’t you.