Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
I did something ridiculously awful. I inconvenienced my neighbors in a way that would shock you. I was uncaring, invasive, and I just kept going. If my neighbors wrote to an advice column about how awful I had been, readers would gleefully jump in and pass judgement on me. They would feel righteously indignant. They would express sympathy for my neighbors who were most decidedly the victims of of some pretty bad neighboring. They would say about me: how could I not know how rude I was being? I must have known and I did it anyway, they would say. And it is so obvious. After all she kept saying she was sorry, but then kept doing the offending thing. She knew. She had to have known.
Well I did know. And yet I didn’t. In fact, I was utterly clueless. I am speechless as to why I was so clueless. It was so obvious. But it wasn’t. How can that happen? How do you apologize for something that you know you did but you couldn’t fathom how on earth you did it? It’s a lame excuse to be unaware and yet until I was told what I had done, I was completely. Unaware.
My husband tried to tell me early on. I brushed him off. He felt security in the fact that I was so secure and so he didn’t think of it again.
I cried when they told me. I was in shock. I felt so ashamed.
I confess I don’t want to be friends with them anymore. Even if they forgive me. I’m too embarrassed to be friends. I don’t want to be that friend that did that awful thing. All of their friends no doubt will think of me as that friend that did that awful thing. There is really no escaping the fact that I will always be that friend that did that thing.
If anything, this experience has made me realize what folly it is to pass judgement on other people. You just can’t know what is inside another person’s head. Even when things seem so clear, they really aren’t. It is truly impossible that I didn’t know, and yet I am proof that it isn’t impossible. I didn’t know.
The internet is full of opportunities to pass judgement on people. I think in a small way I know how that woman felt who tweeted about going to Africa and not getting AIDS because she was white. So many people jumped at the opportunity to call her racist, and yet she really was that clueless. Unaware. Just like me.
Dr. Phil is about passing judgement on people. You see persons who must know how screwed up they are, but you see they don’t. They don’t know and so they need help from Dr. Phil to get back on track. It doesn’t matter if he helps them though. All that matters is that we are watching and we are thinking to ourselves how functional we are because we’re not like those people. They are really screwed up.
I’ll never pass judgement on those folks again now that I know I am one of them.
In case you are wondering, I did apologize to my neighbors.
As I ponder what direction I would like to take the blog in after my three-week hiatus, I’m thinking more photography, especially more food photography, and perhaps less politics. I’m not certain I’ll be able to prevent myself from the occasional snarky comment, but I just think that I’m indulging myself in those posts and not always entertaining the readers.
I’ve noticed some of the things I’ve blogged about get blogged about by other more popular bloggers after I’ve posted them. This is significant because I try not to post things that I’ve read about somewhere else. I guess my instincts are often right, otherwise others wouldn’t be talking about the same things, but there really is no satisfaction in being unoriginal. Or coming in first in a very insignificant contest. Where no one can tell I’m first anyway.
Besides I’ll never match Balloon-Juice for snarky comments. Man, I love that John Cole. How could I ever write something as good as this. Regarding the Stupak Ammendment in Health Care Reform legislation and the absence of a ban on viagra coverage, Cole writes:
I’m sure a lot of people have “serious moral concerns” about the government paying for erections, and as we know, all you have to say is that you have “serious moral concerns” and then no one can question your position. I know I don’t want my tax dollars paying for Senator Ensign to be able to bang his workers or Rush Limbaugh’s dalliances in the Dominican (although there is a good chance he bought the Viagra the same way he buys the rest of his drugs- on the street). If our Republican leadership and the panty-sniffing Blue Dogs can’t get it up the way God intended, with a dildo in the anus while wearing two wetsuits, I don’t see why the American taxpayer should be subsidizing insurance for the little blue pill. Public or private.
I really wish I could write like that. I probably will occasionally still link to other good pieces about politics.
I still love talking about film, so that will stay. And I’ll probably still talk about my commute to work in Seattle; I’ve actually taken up running to work on occasion.
In the immediate future I’ll be purchasing a point-and-shoot camera so I can take pictures without lugging my SLR around. This should help on my morning runs which is where I usually see the darnedest things. Keep watching.
Photo of the Burke Gilman trail in Seattle from hopeisalot’s photostream.
I’ve been taking guitar lessons since January and I’ll be honest: I’m not very good. But I have to admit it’s a lot of fun. I never really had a musical background save taking clarinet lessons for one year as a child, so I don’t know that much about music.
My guitar teacher last night could not stop talking about how significant and monumental a figure Les Paul was. The way he talked, the world would be a completely different place if Les Paul never was. I took a look at this New York Times article, and sure enough this man was a total genius. It’s a good read.